Spring-cleaning heart and home

A new season usually spells lots of fresh goals and projects for me.
And isn't it grand that Spring coincides with my second trimester up-swing of energy?

Well, Spring in theory because we haven't really had many signs of Spring weather here on the plains yet...

But it will come.
And I'm ready when it does.

In the meantime my focus has turned to getting things into better shape around here. There are still rooms that aren't really decorated after our move in the Fall and the basement is storing boxes of things we can probably safely get rid of and never miss.

Plus, all the normal dirt, clutter, and fingerprints that build up when you do as much living in your house as we do.
We give our little space a daily workout that puts world champion weightlifters to shame, let me tell ya.

On that note, I was amused to find this bucket in the dollar aisle at Target. 

While this quote is very comforting to me in regards to my house when it is at its worst... I think in my family's case that those happy kids with all the messes and laundry would be happier still if their mom was sane as well as good, right?

So we clean now and then to keep me from going crazy.

In all reality the list of cleaning and organizing to be done is a lot longer than my days but I'm encouraged when I can cross a few things off the list. Even tiny things. I've been known to write small unplanned tasks on the list after I do them just so I can have the immense satisfaction of marking them off.

Because accomplishment feels good.

I have a couple new friends who are helping accomplish the cleaning.
Let me introduce you to Flo, Broomhilda, and Dusty.

Source: Boston warehouse

They are not only good at doing their dirty jobs but they manage the super-human feat of looking chic, fashionable, and put-together while they are at it. 

Oh, how we would rock this world if we mothers could manage that trick!

Wait, maybe you CAN pull that off... 

A cleaning uniform consisting of: Yoga pants, heaven help us if anybody sees me in this stained t-shirt, flyaway hair, spot of something unidentifiable stuck to a cheek, bare feet which can't remember the last time they had a pedicure-- maybe that is only me. Maybe...

I digress.

Anyway, my truly favorite part of my new cleaning crew is they are the best recruiters ever. I have 3 littles lined-up to be their best helpers. They will do anything to work with these gals. Anything.

That's a powerful sales pitch, right there. 

***

So the organizing and de-cluttering continues.
Aided by my addiction to cute containers.

It may be divine intervention that has never allowed me to shop at The Container Store. Just the name gives me goosebumps and shivers of delight.

I confine myself to thrift stores, garage sales, and people's cast-offs.
And they never let me down.

***

But I think seasonal cleanings go deeper than the dust ingrained in the crevices of our home. For me, they are also about reviewing the purpose for our life and marking hard tasks off my mental list.

Reach out to someone new.
Be kind even if it makes you uncomfortable.
Write that card.

Through some gals I follow on Instagram I became aware of a certain little girl who is fighting Cancer. There are so many who are fighting this disease but there is something about this one that has touched me deeply and I'm not sure why. Even her beautiful name calls to me. My "hard things" list includes writing her a letter. Soon.

We can do hard things.

We can scrub every inch of our homes.
We can find a few words to comfort someone.
We can toss out junk that burdens us.
We can pray in the face of acts of hate and terror.

We can clean up our act.
We can walk a little straighter with happy skips in-between purposeful strides.

It is Spring.
It is the season of miracles.
It is the season of CAN, WILL, and DO.

Love,
Raimie Lu

• What is on your list?

The changing road

Life sometimes meets speed-bumps.

Those little things that tell us to "Slow down!"
*Thump*
 *Jog* 
*Jostle*
We are abruptly reminded that life is best traveled at a pace where we can contemplate turns, adjust our lights properly, and easily stay off the shoulder and out of the ditch.

But there can be much bigger things in the road than speed-bumps. Things so big they alter our course in an instant. There are circumstances that are like coming around a corner at normal speed and finding the road we are on simply isn't anymore. The bridge is out. The mountain has shifted. The forest has burned.

Brakes scream.
Tires slide.
Steering wheel spins without effect.
Impact.
Silence.
Weeping.

There was a moment like that this Saturday.

I blithely took my middle child to a play. I laughed. He wiggled.
I left my phone home on the charger.

I missed the text that warned of rocks ahead.
 "There has been an accident."

By the time I got home the abyss was open right in front of us.
"We've lost Emma."

The daughter of some of our dear friends was gone.
Impact.

*****

There is nothing that shakes me as much as seeing the agony parents go through when dealing with the death of a child and in our circle of friends, this has been our portion to witness 3 times in less than nine months.

Tyler, age 20
Rebecca, age 7
Emma, age 13

These names are engraved on my heart like historical markers. They are detailed with memories that keep each sweet face present and alive in my mind in a special way.

Tyler, with his easy-going, friendly manner.
Rebecca, with her unstoppable smile.
Emma, with her motherly-care of every living thing.

These 3 families, whose journeys are forever changed and whose hearts hurt in a way we are sure we could never bear... And we couldn't. Because only God has the strength to carry people through these things. Only He can lift them from the pile of rubble, set them back the right way on the road, and give them direction of where to go from here.

In these dark days they are sifting through the pieces, trying to comprehend, trying to put fragments together into something that makes sense and connects to what they once knew. Their heads are jumbled. Their hearts are shattered.  It feels like none of this can possibly real- except the pain, the pain is very, very real.

And their friends?

We wonder how we can help. We feel we lack the words to give comfort. We want to take some of the weight but human strength is not enough. We cry out to Heaven on their behalf and we beg for grace and wisdom to be a help when it seems like nothing could be remotely adequate.  We stand together because otherwise we would fall over. 

We watch while God does his mighty work.
It makes us ache with sorrow, gratefulness, and awe.

Where do I go from here?

These cliff-top, cannon-edge experiences may shake me beyond measure but they steady me too. When the knee-knocking fear of falling subsides I must find a rock to stand on. The rock that is knowing there is a plan for this journey and there is a destination that is worth all these experiences.

I am left with an overwhelming desire to reassess my route, refocus on my destination, carry on with careful precision, hug my littles in the back-seat and buckle them in with prayer in preparation for the bumpy miles. 

I want to turn on a song of love and thankfulness to play constantly while we travel - a song about the one who planned this way with every rest-stop, speed-bump, pot-hole, road-sign, and dead-end put there for a reason. A song of thanks for only showing me a tiny portion of the map, enough to tell me "You are here." and "Keep going." 

*****

Note: The particulars about Emma's passing are not mine to tell and I hope you will understand if I don't answer questions here out of respect for her family.

This post is meant only as an account of my own impressions, a glimpse of the impact the death of these 3 precious young people has had on me in recent months, and my personal observations about how we deal with life-changing events in general - because they happen to us all in some form or another.

If you would like to learn more about Tyler or Rebecca you can visit their memorial blogs here.

• Tyler Grotz
• Remembering Rebecca

*****

Our greatest condolences and expressions of love go out to each of these families as they grieve their children. 

Please hug your loved ones tightly. 

Love,
Raimie

Easter freak session and our non-traditional traditions

As the sun rose on Easter morning I should have been thinking something meaningful about the glory of the new day, but I was mostly thinking, So soon? Five more minutes. Three drowsy children got prodded out of bed and ten sleepy feet began tapping out their wake-up-wake-up shuffle. Jeffrey started making breakfast. The sun kept rising and soon it was poking timid strands of light into our windows and into the corners of my muddled mind. My attitude started adjusting to the light, the smell of scrambled eggs and the sound of the coffeemaker. I gave thanks for sunshine, caffeine and protein. Whenever we need to refocus, thankfulness is a really good place to start.

The gratefulness and sustenance put my head got back on the track it should have been the moment it left the pillow. Blessings. Thanksgiving. Rejoicing. Good Sunday thoughts. A chiming clock called me to hurry up. Getting five people ready and presentable usually requires a hunk of patience and a lot of "Hurry-up!" But today the hungry hoard made their eggs disappear with no need for speed reminders. Daddy makes the seriously best scrambled eggs ever. Amen.

The day was shaping up to be a lot like most of our Sundays. I hadn't planned a lot for Easter. We usually do whatever feels right that particular year. Occasionally that is a blow-out, no-holds-barred, go-for-broke extravaganza. More often I think of 40-hundred fun new things to try but thinking is all I get around to doing so I end up pulling together something spontaneous according to our mood that day... [Insert mental freak out session here]

Am I ok with our lack of plans?
Should I make a bigger deal out of it?
What about Easter traditions?
I guess I pretty much stink at traditions.
We almost never do the same thing twice on holidays.
I am probably hurting my kids by raising them this way.
Look at the enjoyment other people get from their traditional holidays.
Look at how they have the forethought and dedication to pull off those time-honored ceremonies year after year.
What is my problem?
Is something wrong with me?
I better get my act together before I screw up our lives...

These wrinkly thoughts needed straightening out even more than Felicity's dress. The youngest climbed out of the shower and started shouting for his towel. Latham wandered through the livingroom looking for his shoes.

Just like every Sunday.

And there it was, like a sudden burst of steam from the iron.

We do keep traditions in our house. 

They might not look like other people's. They might just be simple little things we do on a daily or weekly basis instead of yearly, but they tell a lot about who we are as individuals and as a family unit and they are infinity important to our well-being. And 

So maybe the true issue was never my haphazard, slap-happy, observance of this or that holiday. Maybe the true problem lies in taking for granted the time I am given every day to celebrate our basic family-life for the treasure that it is. Maybe the key is being very intentional about the way we spend out time, the routines we pick up and the actions and words we repeat.

"Habit is a poor substitute for conviction."

"What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while."

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Ps 118:24

Those are all words I need to repeat to myself frequently. They are true and have the power to change my way of thinking and therefore, my day.

And my Easter was changed. No, I wasnt suddenly inspired to deck the halls, dress as the Easter bunny or color eggs. I just saw our Sunday for what it truly is, a beautiful tradition. I  found a sense of peace and contentment in where we are at this time of our lives.

I fell in love with the first day of the week all over again.
And it just so happened to be Easter.

I hope your Easter was just the way you like it!

*****
What does our Sunday look like? Here is a nibble...

Coffee

Makes the birds sing sweeter.

Eggs

Sunday go-to-meetin' clothes

Helping in the kitchen

They worry me a little when they are so excited to use knives. Little savages.

Setting the table

Sit down dinner

Funny papers

We fought terribly over these as kids... Why didn't we figure out we could sit three in a row and see just fine?

Somewhere in there I had a nap; a pregnancy custom that I observe almost daily with great satisfaction and downright selfishness.

*****

Because it was Easter: a few last-minute whip-ups in my typical spur-of-the-moment style.

Cotton-tail treat bags

Paper lunch bags, cardstock-ears, cupcake papers, cotton-ball tails. Inspired by Katherine Marie

Brown eggs

Nice of the hens to pre-color our eggs for us!

Fresh reads

Thank goodness for my stash of go-to gifts and its usual inclusion of books that I picked up in a rare preparatory moment. These are tied up with thrift store lace and unfinished quilt-blocks.

*****

P.S. If you came over here from The Prairie Hen's Nest, welcome to our new blog-home! I hope you will follow along. Stay tuned for a giveaway in the very near future. I'm excited to share with you.

*****

Have a happy day!